I've got it!

This shall be my next cross stitch!


Also, my Julius Caesar comic is finished has terminated fantastically.

Best Thing Ever?

Just when you think it can't get any more amazing, about three minutes in, it transcends to a level of amazing so amazing there are no words to describe how amazing it is.

Yes, I am Jumping on this Bandwagon

So, now that this market has been opened up, I'm pretty I need to exploit it. Perhaps I'll focus on Dickens.

Anyone interested in Oliver Twist, but With Werewolves?

I Strongly Identify with this Stick Figure

When I lived in San Francisco, there was a sign on the door to the roof of the building that said DO NOT ENTER, and a bunch of handwritten signs taped around it with things like "If you go on the roof you will be FINED" "This means YOU" "Stay the crap off the roof, guys, for serious!" "The roof is totally covered in scorpions and whatnot and will KILL YOU!"*

God almighty did I ever want to go on that roof! And as someone who's terrified of heights,** roofs (rooves?) are not generally my favorite place to hang.

You could totally Tom Sawyer me into doing anything with a DO NOT [BLANK] sign.

In fact, let's try it now:

DO NOT DO LAUNDRY! (Kitty Pimms, this means you)

Screw you, man! I'm gonna separate those delicates SO HARD.

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID*


*I may have gotten a little carried away toward the end, there.
**My head is not meant to be more than 5'5" inches off the ground... tippy-toe is as high as I go.

Questions Answered

Sometimes, people say things to me. Things like "Kitty Pimms, why are you so sarcastic all the time?"

Or, "Oh, Kitty. Don't people have the right to go out to dinner without having their sartorial choices critiqued?"

Or even, "Can't we just have one conversation where you don't try to eviscerate me with your razor-sharp wit?"

In brief, I have a reputation for being somewhat acerbic. Perhaps I remind you of this fellow.

In answer to these, and other similar questions, allow me to present some email correspondence on the subject of a recently deceased pop star:

---

From: grandmapimms@thisisnotreal.com
Subject: (no subject)
To: mommapimms@totallymadeup.net, unclepimms@fake.org, cousinpimms@imaginaryemail.co.uk, kittypimms@girlishwhimsy.com

Michael who????

---

---

From: mommapimms@totallymadeup.net
Subject: (no subject)
To: grandmapimms@thisisnotreal.com, unclepimms@fake.org, cousinpimms@imaginaryemail.co.uk, kittypimms@girlishwhimsy.com

that guy from Gary, Indiana; Gary, Indiana; Gary, Indiana
The music conservatory there...you know....

---

---

From: unclepimms@fake.org
Subject: (no subject)
To: grandmapimms@thisisnotreal.com, mommapimms@totallymadeup.net, cousinpimms@imaginaryemail.co.uk, kittypimms@girlishwhimsy.com

I heard that the paramedics reported that in spite of their best efforts, Michael never did regain his color :-)

---

With this gene pool, I never had a chance.

Just a Link

No comments.

Just click here.

I promise, you won't regret it.

I Have Not Words...

...to describe how awesome this is:



I'll just quote Jezebel's intro, because seriously. I have not words.

"In this brilliantly edited clip by Rebellious Pixels, Edward shows up at Sunnydale High and tries to put the moves on Buffy Summers, who sees right through his sparkly bs, shutting him down at every opportunity"

Some highlights:*

In the cafeteria part, there is a brief glimpse of Alice (from Twilight) and she totally has the same hair as Willow. It's fitting since Alice is the only Twilight character I mildly approve of.

The use of one of my all-time favorite Buffy quotes: "What are you doing? Here? At this table, talking to me, like we're some kind of talking buddies?" Oh, the many times have I wanted to say that (substituting "table" for "any place I go in my life").

The "Are you sure this isn't some fanboy thing?" line from "Buffy vs. Dracula": especially great because, had that episode happened within the last year or so, she totally would have said "Edward" instead of "Lestat"

And that reminds me: Some one in an A.V. Club discussion of the latest episode of True Blood** pointed out how the now-classic "brooding dark haired vampire+fun blonde vampire=good homoerotic times" was clearly at work, and attributed that convention to Buffy (Angle/Spike). Had I not been a good five days late to the discussion (having just totally legally watched that episode online), I would have had to point out in the most pompous manner possible that Angel and Spike are so obviously ripped off from Louis and Lestat... something that used to bug the crap out of me when Buffy first aired.

Aaaaaaand I'm going to just stop right there, because this may be the nerdiest post I've ever written. Which is an achievement.

*Perhaps the only downside is that I could identify which episode almost every one of those Buffy clips was from.

**Which was also pretty great... the vampires are really hitting it out of the park this week. UPDATE: The trend continues at Go Fug Yourself, where they say of Kristen Bell's outfit "That is saucy. I feel like this might be the uniform they put the waitresses in over at Twilight McLestat's Vampire Bar and Grille" and of Eva Green's "BLAAAAAAH. This woman is not particularly interested in draining the blood of the innocent, or interrupting the sleep of the just, or disturbing the dinner of the holy, or stealing the mail of the virgins, or trimming the bangs of the uptight, or anything even REMOTELY sexy and vampiric. And ergo, I have no use for her."

Best Thing Ever?

I think so...



From The Hope Chest, which posts scans of old newspaper articles. Vampires seems to be a recurring theme. Also a lot of the articles seem to be from the Chicago Tribune. Represent.

(Ignore the site's comments about Chicago drivers. We are the only people in this country who know how to drive. Everyone else is wrong).

The Juvenile Truth

I am an occasional visitor to that blog that showcases foreign signs with odd English usage. I like to pretend that I enjoy it because I love playing with language, that I come not for the "cock fried rice"-style humor but for the moments of inadvertent poetry:



Or the times when some anonymous sign-maker has managed to use our language with more precision and creativity than we usually do:



But then, I see something like this:


And giggle for the rest of the day.