This Exists

I saw one of these at the store the other day, and, upon returning home, had pretty much convinced myself that I'd hallucintated it.* Because why would such a thing exist? Who would invent it? Who would buy it? Why? Why?

I did a little Googling to find out what these things actually look like. From (shudder) feeling the package, I'd gotten the impression that it contained one giant, suggestively shaped log of cheese-powdered food product, but it appears that they're more like nuggets.

So really, they're just giant cheese balls. Which is... not really any more right. I just imagined what biting into one of those would be like, and it made the top of my mouth hurt. And let me tell you, I am a fan of Cheetos.






Oh, and by the by, folks, let me just warn you. Googling "giant cheetos" brings up some disturbing stuff.




Yeah... No thanks, I'm good.

*I'd spent about 14 hours in the car, driving from NYC to Michigan. Pretty much everything after we stopped at a Waffle House in Ohio around midnight felt like a hallucination. In fact, it was probably the Waffle House's fault. The whole experience was like a really bad absurdist play. The waitress handed my friend her toast with a cheerful "Here's your cheese steak."