A Rambling Post (sort of) About Sexting!

This is too, too hilarious:

Top 50 Text Acronyms Parents Need to Know

1 8 Oral sex
2 1337 Elite
3 143 I love you
4 182 I hate you
5 459 I love you
6 1174 Nude club
7 420 Marijuana
8 ADR Address
9 ASL Age/Sex/Location
10 Banana Penis
11 CD9
or Code9Parents are around
12 DUM Do You Masturbate?
13 DUSL Do You Scream Loud?
14 FB F*** Buddy
15
16 FMLTWIA F*** Me Like The Whore I Am
17 FOL Fond of Leather
18 GNOC Get Naked On Cam
19 GYPO Get Your Pants Off
20 IAYM I Am Your Master
21 IF/IB In the Front or In the Back
22 IIT Is It Tight?
23 ILF/MD I Love Female/Male Dominance
24 IMEZRU I Am Easy, Are You?
25 IWSN I Want Sex Now
26 J/O Jerking Off
27 KFY
or K4Y Kiss For You
28 Kitty Vagina
29 KPC Keeping Parents Clueless
30 MorF Male or Female
31 LMIRL Let's Meet In Real Life
32 MOOS Member Of The Opposite Sex
33 WYCM Will You Call Me?
34 MOS Mom Over Shoulder
35 MPFB My Personal F*** Buddy
36 NALOPKTNot A Lot Of People Know That
37 NIFOC Nude In Front Of The Computer
38 NMU Not Much, You?
39 P911 Parent Alert
40 PAL Parents Are Listening
41 PAW Parents Are Watching
42 PIR Parent In Room
43 POS Parent Over Shoulder or Piece Of Sh**
44 PRON Porn
45 Q2C Quick To Cum
46 RU/18 Are You Over 18?
47 RUH Are You Horny?
48 S2R Send To Receive
49 SorG Straight or Gay
50 TDTM Talk Dirty To Me

via The Hater

This chart could actually save teenagers a lot of time. Now, instead of texting the cumbersome "FMLTWIA" they could increase their sexting efficiency by just sending "16!"

Back in my day, when my friends and I were making sketchy plans over the phone (the landline, mind you... cell phones and internets were not readily available until my college days) and a parent sidled into the room, the accepted thing to do was loudly go "Um, excuse me! Privacy!" which signaled to your phonemate that an authority figure was present, so they wouldn't be baffled when you followed it up with something innocent-sounding like, "What did you get for number 22?" or "Wanna get together at the malt shop after the sock hop?"

But, seriously, are there parents out there unaware that by the time something filters down to a scare story on your local news you can pretty much garauntee your kids got over it at least 6 months ago?* Sometimes I suspect these things of being some sort of teenage conspiracy to makes sure their parents are looking exactly the wrong way to catch them in shady doings. Though, this one seems destined to lead down an uncomfortable road:

"Did you just text OMG? What does that mean? Openly Masturbate, Girl? Opulent G-spot Massage? You can tell me, I'm hip. Let's talk about contraception!"

Despite finding the presence of teenagers anywhere I want to be incredibly annoying, I'm somewhat proud of myself for being able to maintain some sympathy with them in theory.

I remember when I was about 15, I was all fired-up about the injustice of R-rated movies (the theatres in my town had just started enforcing the R-rating. The first film I was turned away from was The People vs. Larry Flynt, which I cannot now imagine wanting to see, but hey... youth). Why, I demanded of anyone who would listen, should I have to pay the "adult price" of $6.50 (and thems 1998 dollars!) when I was not allowed into "adult movies"?**

The overwhelming response of anyone over 17... "Meh."

At which point I would launch into speech about how nothing was ever going to get better because on one cared about the plight of the youth, even those who had been denied access to Larry Flynt right alongside me, but had their birthday the very next week, David!!***

And be met once again with a resounding "Meh."

But now, even though I just turned Twenty(cough) years old, I still totally think that anyone old enough to get to a movie theatre by themself should be allowed to see whatever they damn well please. Or that under-17s should have a special "no-good-stuff" rate.

I mean, I don't care a lot. But I'd provide a "right on" to any kid who wanted to rant about not being allowed into a movie. If I were put in the unfortunate position of having to talk to a teenager, that is. Which I hope does not happen.

I've had a lot of coffee and can't think of a way to end this post now.

Uh, TTYL!

(Does that mean "Taunting with Titties, Young Lover"? You can tell me, I'm hip!)

*Unless it's pot, kids never get over that. Your kids are totally smoking pot right now.

**A theory, I now realizes, which implies that adults are paying extra for extra profanity, which might not be a bad strategy for movies to adopt in These Tough Economic Times. If you don't want to pay $10 for your summer blockbuster, you could pay $5 for the edited-for-TV version where Samuel L. Jackson is constantly saying "Mellonhugger!"

***That's totally his real name! I wonder whatever happened to him? Good ol' purple-haired, bisexual David. Perhaps he has kids now...